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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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Then, I spot this food truck. Tacos! My weakness. I order a couple, and they’re amazing. I’m talking flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m finally happy! But then, I spill salsa all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a mess, and this old lady walks by. She just shakes her head and mutters something about “kids these days.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a kid!”

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